In an exclusive interview, BRD learned that Northrop Grumman will soon be unveiling its long-awaited new line of products…artificially intelligent robotic politicians. CEO Wesley G. Bush explained, “We have been making military robots that we sell to the government for years, and we are extremely proud of our advances in artificial intelligence, so we figured, why not address the nation’s inept decision-making and save taxpayers money at the same time?” The trade name for the AI politician robots is still under wraps, but rumor has it that Minos, Attila, and Eli are names that are in the running and that there might be a “female” model named “the Queen Victoria”.
Feminists are split as to whether or not an AI female politician is needed. Some would like equal representation and support the development of both male and female models. Other feminists believe that the vast majority of our woefully incompetent national decision-making can be attributed to male carbon-based life forms. “Why develop a female AI robot when real women have been trying to talk sense to these guys for years?” asked Julia Stennis, Women’s Global Studies professor at Stanford.
Voters seem enthusiastic about the idea of new life forms running for office. Oleta Blackfeather, a part-time prison guard and plasma donor in Boley, Oklahoma put it this way, “We’ve had artificially unintelligent politicians for far too long.”
President Trump offered a somewhat ambiguous tweet, “Robo-men? Make politicians great again!” Political pundits are debating the meaning of this latest communication from the Oval Office.
Northrop Grumman representatives would not confirm rumors that AI robotic politicians will be for sale on Amazon. “We have put a great deal of research and development into our decision-making algorithms for these new models”, stated Bush. He continued, “We have included knowledge of Greek, Latin, history, philosophy, and babysitting readiness skills.”
When asked whether or not he feared losing his job to a robotic politician, Representative Markwayne Mullin of Oklahoma replied, “I support the free market, creativity and innovation; I adamantly oppose cumbersome government restrictions on business and progress. That is why I will be introducing legislation to guarantee that naturally unintelligent white men will continue to rule our great nation.”